Inhuman Swill : Ella

Get your 2017 Ella calendars now!

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Ella-Portation 2015 13-Month Calendar
Hi, gang! Laura and I are happy to announce that the new Ella calendar for 2017 is available now from Lulu.com. It features thirteen months of all your favorite Ella photos from from the past year—all right, all right, our favorites—and for a limited time you can get it for the discounted price of only $11.99 plus shipping and handling. What a fetching bargain!

Click below to buy now, and you can keep Ella-scoping out your favorite soft-coated wheaten terrier on her adventures out and about in Queens all year long.

Ella-Scope 2017 13-Month Calendar

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Ella's album covers: Signals

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Twelve years of Ella

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Ella the Wonder Dog, April 2004, 6 months old
It was twelve years ago today that I posted my first-ever blog entry about Ella. I hadn't met her yet. I was traveling on the West Coast. Laura was visiting her parents outside of Chicago. The neighbors asked if she would adopt their puppy. She said yes. History was made.

Laura flew Ella home to New York, and I didn't meet her until I arrived home a couple of days later. It was love at first sight, of course. This is the first photograph of Ella I ever took:

We've had plenty of ups and downs over the years—health issues, food allergies, several moves, dog attacks, bouts of fearfulness, surgeries, and, worst of all, burs—but through it all, Ella has remained a sweet, lovable, adventurous, bouncy, curious, intelligent, regal, goofy, strong-willed but good-hearted dog.

She's slowed down a little, but she's still in good health, and she'll still give a squirrel a run for its money. Here she is now, at age 12, in a photo taken by her dogwalker:

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Ella-Gram 2016 13-Month Calendar
Hi, gang! Laura and I are happy to announce that the new Ella calendar for 2016 is available now from Lulu.com. Ella-Gram features thirteen urgent dispatches from the front lines of fuzz, and for a limited time you can get it for the discounted price of only $11.99 plus shipping and handling. Stop! Sit! Save!

Ella-Gram 2016 13-Month Calendar

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Ella un-a-cyst-ed

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Ella in her Surgi Snuggli after cyst surgery
I've been so focused on my book for the past year or more that I can't even remember the last time I posted an Ella update here to the blog. I find that unconscionable, so I'm here to remedy that.

First off, Ella is doing just fine, despite the fact that she had surgery last month, the second time this year. Like many wheaten terriers, Ella is prone to developing big sebaceous cysts, which for the most part we have left alone. They're mostly only a problem if they start to grow. In that case they can cause intense discomfort, or they can even burst and get infected.

Normally we've handled Ella's cysts by having them drained with a needle when they get too big, but in February we finally had to send her under the knife for the first time to have four of them removed. One had burst, another was getting bigger, and we figured we would just take as many off as possible as long as she was under anesthesia anyway.

This is considered minor surgery, but it's still nerve-wracking, especially because of the anesthesia. But Ella came through the first surgery fine, which made us a little less wary about doing it again last month.

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Ella-Portation 2015 13-Month Calendar
Hi, gang! Laura and I are happy to announce that the new Ella calendar for 2015 is available now from Lulu.com. It features thirteen months of all your favorite Ella photos from from the past year—all right, all right, our favorites—and for a limited time you can get it for the discounted price of only $11.99 plus shipping and handling. What a fetching bargain!

Click below to buy now, and you can keep Ella-porting around NYC with your favorite soft-coated wheaten terrier all year long.

Ella-Portation 2015 13-Month Calendar

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It's been several months since I posted an Ella video, so I figure we're overdue. Here's one I took this past Saturday at Astoria Park during off-leash hours.

Ella spies a squirrel foraging far out on the meadow. For a while she just watches, until I nudge her into action (about 0:27). The thing to note is how Ella bends her trajectory not directly toward the squirrel but to where she predicts the squirrel is heading. She trying to cut it off before it reaches its tree.

Spoiler alert: She doesn't catch the squirrel, but I still hope she will someday.

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Packing Kevin's painting
"What the hell are you doing?" the old man yelled into my window. "You can't park here! What's wrong with you?"

I had just backed very carefully into a space barely wide enough for the car. My friend Kevin was riding shotgun, my dog Ella in a nest in the back seat. Funny, I thought as the man angrily waved me back into the alley, we only missed our target by about twelve feet.

That was exactly one year ago this evening—Wednesday, June 26, 2013. It was the tail end of a 24-hour odyssey that already felt like a dream.

In reality, though, the odyssey went back much farther. For months, Laura and I had been planning a move from Chicago back to New York City. The company she worked for had offered her a job in its New York office, and in fact she was already spending much of her time there, transitioning into her new role. It fell to me to make all the arrangements for moving, to get everything packed, and to find us a new place to live.

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Curious squirrel
The other morning I truly thought for a moment that Ella had at long last caught a squirrel.

We were walking in Astoria Park in Queens, as we often do, where dogs are allowed to roam off-leash before 9:00 a.m. There's a lightly wooded section of the park near the big swimming pool that I call Squirrel Alley, because all the trees and undergrowth ensure a robust population of arboreal rodents for Ella to chase.

We were walking past a tree that one squirrel had just used as an escape route when I spotted another squirrel on the far side of the tree. It was sitting on an exposed root eating a nut. It was three feet away from Ella, but she didn't see it—and it didn't yet see her. It was facing the wrong way.

I nudged Ella's shoulder and whispered, "Right there!"

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Memo to my socialist dog

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Ella gets flagged for detainment
I'm sorry, Ella, but you have to accept it. If you drag me a mile and a half to the park through a slushy wasteland on the front end of our walk, then there's no getting around a mile and a half home on the back end after you've worn yourself out. Stopping along the way and staring at random parked cars will not cause them to magically unlock themselves and chauffeur you home. I hate to be the one to tell you, but that's not how property works in our capitalist society. (Though it would be cool if it was.)

Also, the mail carrier is really trying hard to be your friend. Can you spot him a few points for that?

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Featured Book

William Shunn

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