Inhuman Swill : NYC : Page 9
            

Whoever told Lidle he couldn't hit the side of a building must be feeling awful this morning.

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Is it so much to ask?

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I really don't want that much of the sidewalk. I'm only asking for the width of my shoulders. So why is it, when there's more than enough room for three big guys to walk abreast, and there are only two of you coming my way, and I'm already as far to the right as I can get without stepping into the street, that I have to turn sideways to avoid a collision? I guess I left my sense of entitlement home today.

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The case of the missing movie

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So I have a chance to review the new Mike Judge film Idiocracy, opening September 1st in New York and Los Angeles ... if only I can fucking find it. I've scoured the Web for information, including the movie ticketing sites, including the 20th Century Fox site, and gotten a big fat NOTHIN'. It seems to have simply vanished, before it even existed. I would like to put an ad on the back of a milk carton:

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MOVIE?

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Just a quick reminder that I will be reading with Elizabeth Bear a/k/a [info]matociquala this evening at Manhattan's KGB Bar at 7:00 pm. Doors open 6:30 pm. Admission is free!

Details

KGB is at 85 East 4th Street, near Second Avenue.

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Hard times at Kabab Cafe

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I was half-listening to WNYC this morning as I made the last preparations to leave, when suddenly I heard my friend Ali's voice on the radio. We had noticed that his restaurant, Kabab Cafe, has been closed since the blackout, and we keep stopping by to see if it is open yet.

Here is a transcript of the radio story.

I am going there for my birthday next week, should it be open yet by then, and would whether or not the place had had so much trouble. Those of you we've taken there will understand!

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Okay, okay, God, we get it. We'll curtail our greenhouse gas emissions a lot. We'll pour all our research dollars into alternative fuels. We'll stop fucking around with oil, not to mention fighting over access to that poison. Just, for Christs's sake, turn down the heat!


It looks like something out of an old animated cartoon. There are police vans with huge ranks of loudspeakers puttering around Manhattan, exhorting citizens to conserve electricity. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that affectless, amplified voice declaring that the end is nigh.
When I arrived at my office building today, I was alone in the elevator up. The elevator was cooler than the lobby, but not by a lot. The lobby in turn was cooler than out on the street by some.

I pressed the button for 12. It was the only button lit. The elevator started up.

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One right up the tailpipe

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After the various indignities of the day and long night, some of which were heaped upon me by others, some of which I heaped upon myself, I was finally on my way home from work last night at 2:15 am when the cab I was riding in stopped in the congestion that develops there after the east end of the Queensborough Bridge and was promptly rear-ended by another cab.

The speeds were low and the damage to the back bumper was negligible, but from my point of view it was like someone had slammed a refrigerator into my back. I got out of the cab and checked myself out, but I seemed to be okay. Nothing obviously injured. The cab drivers didn't fight or anything, but mine gave the other a stern lecture about tailgating. Both were very concerned about how I was.

I wrote down both medallion numbers just in case.

As we continued home, my cab driver complained of some neck pain. My back hurt, and my teeth ached, and my upper arm hurt a little, but it was difficult to sort out injury from shock and nerves. At home, Laura prescribed Advil and scotch. Mmm, Talisker. It helped me sleep, but of course it has not made waking up so easy this morning.

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The blurb in this Gawker

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The blurb in this Gawker entry literally made me laugh out loud. And the video's not so bad either:

Queens Politicians Stick "Kick Me" Sign On Mayor's Back

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And we're back

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When I was walking home from the subway last night, I rounded the corner to see ConEd crews working on my very own street. My pulse quickened. Before I reached home, a neighbor had called out to me that our power was back.

Indeed!

I ran around the apartment (after greeting the ecstatic pup) turning on everything. Then I turned most things back off, not wanting to tempt fate. I text-messaged Laura, who confessed to getting a little misty at the news.

This morning, I shaved for the first time in a week. There was light in the bathroom!

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