Inhuman Swill : NYC : Page 9
            

Possible good news for hungry New Yorkers, and for certain out-of-towners of our acquaintance. The late Second Ave. Deli may be making a comeback in Murray Hill. The New York Sun has the story.

That's not far from my office. Oh, I'm salivating!

(Via Laura. Thanks!)

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Subway safety for dummies

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Speaking of which, I have a subway-tracks story of my own, though I was no hero, believe me.

I had lived in New York only about two years when I let someone do something stupid. It was late at night and I was waiting for the train on a thinly populated but by no means deserted D platform at Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn. Near me, a girl who couldn't have been more than 20 was digging for something in the front pocket of her jeans. The jeans were so tight that she couldn't get her hand into the pocket very easily. When she finally latched onto whatever it was she was after and pulled it out, a few folded-up $20 bills popped out of her pocket along with her hand and went sailing out over the edge of the platform. They landed right in the rail bed.

The girl, who was slender and less than medium height, stared down at the bills in chagrin. "Shit," she said, "that's sixty bucks." She noticed me and came over. "Hey, mister, if I climb down there, will you help me up again?"

I should have said no way, but it was very late, the girl looked desperate, and who knows how long it would have taken to find an MTA employee and report the loss. (That's what you're supposed to do—there are signs on the trains telling you never to climb down onto the tracks if you lose something.)

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Hero between the rails

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This brief article from the New York Times begins by asking who hasn't thought about what you'd do if you fell onto the subway tracks. I've certainly wondered, and more to the point I've wondered what it would be like to press myself flat in the bed between the rails while the train thunders inches overhead. Now Wesley Autrey, who jumped onto the tracks to save another man, knows exactly what that's like. Holy shit.

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R.I.P. Coliseum Books

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Damn, this is a shame, and damn, I wish I'd known sooner:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/31/nyregion/31coliseum.html

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Via Laura:

I Elfed myself.

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I love Christmas music, but "The Twelve Days of Christmas" can be pretty tedious to listen to. Especially so as an instrumental number, where each verse gets that much more repetitive than the previous one. Something you might want to think about.

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My subway reading the past couple of days has been the Bruce Sterling collection Globalhead. This morning I was sailing right through—until I decided to change things up and take a different route to work. When I hopped onto the 6 train downtown, I entered the flow of a voice that made continuing to read impossible.

The owner of the voice wore a strip of newspaper pinned in her hair. She sat looking at nothing and no one, and her first rant was about how Bush should be impeached. Fair enough. Her next rant was a long, vulgar, and virtuoso screed against Condi Rice, which I wish I could reproduce in full but which ended with the phrase "got-damn bitch-ass skank."

I sort of lost the thread when Bill Gates became her next target—don't you know that AIDS isn't the problem, Microsoft is the problem?—but it occurred to me to wonder if anyone had bothered to tell her that the Democrats won Congress last week.

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Whoever told Lidle he couldn't hit the side of a building must be feeling awful this morning.

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Is it so much to ask?

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I really don't want that much of the sidewalk. I'm only asking for the width of my shoulders. So why is it, when there's more than enough room for three big guys to walk abreast, and there are only two of you coming my way, and I'm already as far to the right as I can get without stepping into the street, that I have to turn sideways to avoid a collision? I guess I left my sense of entitlement home today.

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The Accidental Terrorist 30th Anniversary Sale

Signed editions
that even a
missionary
could afford.

Order yours now!

William Shunn

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