Inhuman Swill : Math

Happy Pi Day!

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My first summer job was in a cabinetry shop. I worked there all three summers throughout high school. My boss was a crusty old shop teacher whose sense of humor and store of aphorisms had stopped evolving on approximately V-E Day.

He could be one mean sonofabitch. In fact, I can't watch Reservoir Dogs without thinking about him because he looked so much like Lawrence Tierney and said things like "My way or the highway" in so similar a way.

But sometimes he would saunter up and tell a joke, deadpan, like that one with the punchline: "No, you idiots. Pie are ROUND." Then he'd allow himself a tiny smirk of satisfaction and walk away.

Stay rational out there today.

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Cubist writing

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I just did a word count on the novel I (to all intents and purposes) started writing yesterday. Here's what WordPerfect told me:

Words:  1000 Sentences:  64
Two perfect cubes. I'll bet that doesn't happen again for the remainder of the book.
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A suggestion for Rand McNally

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There are plenty of sources that list the distances of various stars from Earth, but does anyone know of a source for looking up the distances of stars from one another? If not, I may have to dust off some spherical geometry that I would rather leave in its rusty box.

Specifically, I need to know the distance between Tau Ceti and Van Maanen's Star.


Update:  I found the specific answer I needed—Tau Ceti and Van Maanen's Star are 6.2 light-years apart—but I'd still be happy to be pointed toward a more general resource.
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Hey, kids! Wondering why you should bother studying science and math? So you can work out the formula to describe the perfect bacon butty!

N = C + {fb(cm) · fb(tc)} + fb(Ts) + fc · ta
Duh.

Tomorrow we'll derive a formula to determine how many licks it takes to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop.

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You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

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The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace

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If The Simpsons had been around when I was in high school, my math teacher Mr. Nelson might have given us problems like this.

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Happy Pi Approximation Day! One version of it, anyway.

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The Accidental Terrorist 30th Anniversary Sale

Signed editions
that even a
missionary
could afford.

Order yours now!

William Shunn

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