temple recommend
The laminated plastic card which, when signed by your bishop and stake president after appropriately arduous and intimate interviews, will admit you to a Mormon temple, where you may engage in such diverting pursuits as baptism for the dead, eternal sealing, and sleeping though an endowment session.

Possession of a temple recommend is what makes one a "card-carrying" Mormon.
The Mormon word for a personal conviction of the truthfulness either of the Restored Gospel or of individual parts thereof. Also, the spoken expression of that conviction. Several sample usages follow:

"Brothers and sisters, I'd like to bear my testimony that this church is true."

"It took me years to gain a testimony of the principle of tithing."

"I have a testimony that the Church welfare system is inspired by God."

"I think Brother Luther is losing his testimony."

"Constant study and prayer is the only way to keep your testimony strong."

"You can't lean on the testimonies of your friends and family forever."

See also fast-and-testimony meeting, testimony meeting.
testimony meeting
Any gathering of Mormons at which the individual attendees are invited and encouraged to bear their testimonies for the benefit and edification of the group as a whole.

Often when a Sunday School class or youth group is acting particularly unruly, the teacher or leader will declare the event a testimony meeting in an attempt to bring things back under control. No words strike fear into the hearts of Mormon youth more than these: "Why don't we have a testimony meeting?"

See also fast-and-testimony meeting.
Thomas, Dave
An actor/director who achieved notoriety as Doug McKenzie (to Rick Moranis's Bob) on SCTV. His company Maple Palm Productions came this close to optioning the screenplay version of Terror on Flight 789 in 1996.

The founder of Wendy's Hamburger Restaurants has the same name, but is not the same person.

For more information, see here.
See threesome.
A companionship with three members instead of the usual two. Necessary when there are an odd number of missionaries of the same sex in one mission.

Sometimes also called a three-leg.
The one tenth of their total personal incomes that Mormons are expected to contribute to the Church. The money is used to build churches and temples and schools -- and for God only knows what else. (Wait, I'm not actually certain that God does know -- but I hear he's got auditors working on it.)

I mean, that's one hell of a lot of money. It makes the Church -- if you'll pardon the expression -- richer than God.
Washington Spokane Mission slang for someone who feels a need to tell better stories than everyone else -- in other words, to "top" his friends. Most toppers seem to be habitual liars of one stripe or another.

As Tim Bishop once said of Rob Hull, "If you have one of something, he has to have three -- and they're all more expensive than yours."
Touché Turtle
See Turtle, Touché.
To reassign a missionary from one area and companion to another.

Also, the process of receiving and enacting such a reassignment; e.g., "I'm looking forward to getting a transfer to somewhere else, Elder. Anywhere else."

See also transfers.
transfer bug
Mission slang for the seemingly arbitrary process by which transfers are determined; e.g., "I can never figure out just when the transfer bug is going to bite, Elder."
The usually monthly event in which missionaries are reassigned to accommodate not only those arriving from the M.T.C. and those being released, but also those who are causing problems, not getting along with companions, threatening suicide, etc.

See also transfer, transfer bug.
Homesick. Refers to the act of sitting on one's packed trunk, eagerly looking forward to the day when one's mission will end.
Touché Turtle
Turtle, Touché
A swashbuckling Hanna-Barbera cartoon hero. His sidekick was a dim-witted dog named Dum Dum.
Twelve, the
See Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the.

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