Sacred Grove, the
The site of Joseph Smith's First Vision -- a sobriquet the grove only acquired after the fact, of course.
In L.D.S. parlance, any true follower of Christ. Mormons would claim that the Catholic usage of this term is an exclusionary corruption of the original meaning.
Salt Lake City, Utah
A city in northern Utah, state capital and headquarters of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Not necessarily in that order.
Satan, binding of
L.D.S. doctrine holds that, during the Millennium, Satan will be bound -- not to be loosed again except for "a short space" at the end of the Earth's existence when Gog and Magog do their apocalyptic fandango.

Sin will still exist during the Millennium, but the blame for it will lie squarely with the individual in question. No more using "The devil made me do it" for an excuse.
Generally, a school for religious instruction.

For Mormons specifically, seminary is a daily class offered to students in the ninth through twelfth grades, wherein they receive in-depth indoctrination on subjects such as the Book of Mormon, the Bible, and Church history.

In most parts of the country, Mormon students attend seminary early in the morning, before their normal school day. In Utah, however, seminary buildings are constructed adjacent to public high schools, and students are permitted one "released time" period per day to cross the street and receive religious instruction.
senior companion
The missionary assigned to lead a companionship. Usually, but not always, the missionary who has been on his or her mission the longest.
To fulfill any calling in the L.D.S. Church.
An office of the Melchizedek Priesthood with duties concerned mostly with missionary work. Named for the seventy missionaries Christ ordained in New Testament times and sent out into the world to preach his gospel.

Once upon a time, seventies were called and ordained in every stake. Now, for rather obscure reasons, the only ordained seventies are general authorities.

See also First Quorum of the Seventy, the.
The accepted abbreviation for "science fiction" within the SF community, as opposed to the derogatory "sci-fi."

This does not denote "San Francisco," despite the many apparent similarities between the two concepts.
A snowism which can be used interchangeably with the word "shit" -- though it also has more novel applications.

See also mac 'n' shazz, shazzload.
A snowism meaning "lots and lots."

See also shazz.
You name it.
Any female member of the Mormon Church, though in my narrative the term is used almost exclusively to refer to sister missionaries.
sister missionary
A female missionary. So called because such women are addressed as "Sister" -- as opposed to "Elder," as their male counterparts are called.

Elders profess to hold sister missionaries in high esteen, though in most cases this is a cover for the fact that male missionaries feel their authority is threatened by the greater knowledge and maturity of most female missionaries.

Often shortened to sister.
Smith, Joseph
Self-proclaimed American prophet (1805-1844), and founder of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Also, author of the Book of Mormon, which incidentally makes him the first Mormon writer of SF/fantasy, far anticipating the works of Orson Scott Card.
Any nonsense word invented by Elder "John Snow" that can be used as a substitute for profanity; e.g., "buckfart" or "shazz."
When the two members of a companionship work temporarily with different companions -- either other missionaries or responsible priesthood holders.

Sometimes a split-off is done so that a zone leader or district leader can help one of his charges improve his proselytizing skills. Sometimes it is done for sheer variety.

Often shortened to splits.
See split-off.
The accidental or intentional transposition of initial sounds in words or phrases; e.g., "He delivered a blushing crow." Named for the English clergyman W.A. Spooner, who was known for such slips.

My favorite spoonerism? "The Lord is a shoving leopard."
A geographical and administrative unit of the L.D.S. Church consisting of usually six to ten wards, or from two to three thousand Saints. Administered by a stake president.

There are currently well over two thousand stakes worldwide.

From such scriptural passages as Isaiah 33:20: "Look upon Zion, the city of our solemnities: thine eyes shall see Jerusalem a quiet habitation, a tabernacle that shall not be taken down; not one of the stakes thereof shall ever be removed, neither shall any of the cords thereof be broken."
stake center
See stakehouse.
stake conference
A semiannual series of meetings which involves all the wards in a stake. These meetings are held at a stakehouse and supplant the normal Sunday worship schedule.

A general authority normally attends each stake conference as a guest speaker and overseer.
stake presidency
In the L.D.S. ecclesiastical hierarchy, the presiding body of a stake, consisting of a stake president and his two counselors.

See also first counselor.
stake president
In the L.D.S. ecclesiastical hierarchy, the presiding officer and spiritual leader of a stake. Falls above bishop and below regional representative.
A larger-than-average Mormon meetinghouse which doubles as the headquarters of a stake. Big enough to accommodate the entire membership of the stake.

Not to be confused with "steakhouse."

Sometimes, and more properly, referred to as a stake center.
standard works
The four volumes of canonized L.D.S. scripture, including the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price.
A restaurant serving large slabs of grilled beef as its primary entrée.
sweet spirit
In Mormon women, the equivalent of a "good personality"; e.g., "I've got someone I want to set you up with, Orson." "Is she a babe, Parley?" "Oh, gosh, man, she's really a sweet spirit."

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