May 1996 Archives

Hi! Mormon by choice here. Sounds to me as though you may have had Mormonism thrust upon you. I will not even do this to my own son. After all, it only took me 34 years to decide . . . and still it was my decision.

I have a real problem with "religion by inheritance." Free agency means just that.

See ya on the Web!

How utterly refreshing to meet an active Mormon who really believes in free agency. I wish your attitude were contagious. Thanks for writing!

As a former mormon missionary (to Japan in the mid-1960s) I found your account extremely interesting. Over the years I too have drifted away from the Church. It has been nearly 20 years since I last attended a meeting. (How time flies.) I'm now living in Taiwan where I support myself as a sometime freelance writer for publications in the U.S. and the U.K. I only last week got hooked up to the internet, but look forward to finding more of your pages as I learn to navigate the Web.

Hey, great to hear from our brethren in Taiwan! I'd love to hear about your experiences with the Church sometime, if you'd care to share. Best of luck with your work -- and with your continued Web-surfing. :)

I just browsed your Web site. I have heard your story before from your family. My Dad was a close fried of your Aunt Ellen and her parents were very good to my father. My older brother Jason is married to you cousin Melissa Shunn, so I guess we are sort of "in laws". Anyway, just a few comments. I didn't read your entire site word for word, but the feeling I got from what I did read was that your feelings about the LDS Church stem more from the members then the doctrine. If we judge any organization on the human frailties of it's members, we are sure to be disappointed. In my experiences from living on the east coast with a Jewish family, serving an LDS mission in Portugal, and having friends of various religions, it seems to me that most of these people follow their various religions without even being aware of the basic doctrine or teachings or any conviction to follow their particular faith. For example, I can't tell you how many times I heard the Catholics in Portugal say "I don't like the "Padres" (Catholic Fathers), but I was born Catholic, my parents are Catholic, my children are Catholic, and I'll die Catholic. I knew more about the doctrines of the Catholic Church then most of the Catholics I encountered in Portugal. My point, I think that anyone claiming to be a memeber of a religion shuold do so because they know the doctrine of the Church and believe it for themselves, and do their best to live it. But obviously some LDS people are not the only ones guilty of this. Your criticism of those in the LDS Church who "blindly follow the leaders" is a criticsm of the actions of some members, not the doctrine of the Church. I have been a member of the LDS Church my entire 25 years of life and I cannot recall ever being taught to blindly follow anything. My convictions have come over the years through various experinces and study. If the LDS Church isn't for you, that is your decision, I certainly don't believe in forcing religion on anyone, it is a personal decision. What I don't understand is why you spend so much time bashing the Church. You say it is part of your "healing" process. I think it's more than that. Perhaps you crave the attention. If you feel so confident that you have made the right choice for you, then why not get on with your life and use your talents in constructive ways. By the way you imply that your bomb threat phone call was because of your devotion to follow the leaders...certianly your companion was not the first or last LDS missionary to leave the mission field, yet your story of braking the law to stop him is the first I've heard of. Having served a mission I know what really goes on, and that missionaries are not necessarily the perfect angels they are held out to be. But in my experiences I did see missionaries trying to do their best to be obedient, I saw missionaries mature and most of all LOVE and embrace people of a different country and culture, LDS or not. I'm sorry your mission was not what you had hoped, but come on, you must admit it was in many ways your own fault...ie: why were you excepting phone calls from your girlfriend?? Anyone can see that it would be hard to focus on the mission with that sort of distraction! It seems that you have jumped on the band wagon of blaming the Church instead of taking personal responsibility for the choices you made. My husband did not serve a mission unitl he was 22, and you know as well as I do that there are many others who do not serve unitl later, or some never go, so please don't tell me you were "forced" to go. One of your readers made some comment about how Utah is governed by the LDS Church and you made some comment about what ever happend to the division of Church/State. Just in response to that, (I've just completed my first year of Law School so I do know something of what I'm writing about!) The state of Utah is 70-75% LDS, so doesn't it make sense that the political leaders in representing their constituants will vote in such a way to reflect how the majority of their constituants would vote? Isn't that what we elect politicians to do?? Is it not reasonable to expect a state senator to vote in a way that reflects the values of 70-80-90% of those he/she represents??? The US constitution does not allow the government to "establish" a religion. That has nothing to do with the laws of the state reflecting the majority of the residents values and morals. Now if Utah laws required everyone to BE LDS, there would be a constitutional problem. I'm not a die hard Utah fan, in fact we plan to move as soon as we complete our educations. But it is very ignorant to expect the political leaders to not represent the views of the majority, those that don't like it are free to move...If you don't want to be subject the the political views of the Catholic Church don't go to Notre Dame...It's the same concept. Just one final thing I'd like to tell you. Your Aunt Ellen and her parents were very influential in my fathers life. He was a convert to the LDS Church and they took him in and loved him when he had no one else. Your cousin Melissa has been a blessing to our family. She has helped my brother in many ways, I love her for that. Last year at this time Jason, (My brother,Melissa's husband) was in a very serious motorcylce accident, it is a miracle that he is alive today, and that they are aslo expecting their first child in just a few weeks. We feel very blessed as a family. I'm grateful for the knowledge that I have, not because I follow anyone blindly, but because I have come the understanding for myself that there is a God in heaven and He loves us. I know that the LDS Church is His Church here on the earth, not because someone "forced" me to serve a mission, but because I have studied, and pondered and had many experiences that have confirmed that to me. No, the members of the LDS Church are not perfect, big shock?! But the doctrine is, and anyone can discover that for themselves.

My Aunt Ellen and Uncle Dennis were very fine people, as are Jason and Melissa today. I don't recall ever saying otherwise. But even so, their goodness no more proves the Church right than any other member's badness proves it wrong. I don't use the frailties of various Mormons as proof that the Church is wrong -- I use those frailties as a demonstration of the ill effects that much L.D.S., not to mention much Christian, doctrine can have. The member are not the disease. They are the symptoms.

The much-vaunted "Love thy neighbor as thy self" is a prime case in point. This doctrine, and the so-called Golden Rule that is derived from it, teaches that one need look no further than one's own self in order to determine how to treat his fellow beings. It doesn't promote understanding; it promotes a dangerous and monochromatic view of the world, in which all the answers can be found in our own hearts. And they can't. I could continue in this vein, but I've already begun discussing my exceptions to L.D.S. doctrine on the Mormon Mythology page.

You try to say that I'm not owning any responsibility for my own actions in the bomb hoax. Well, here it is, for once and for all. I did something stupid that I shouldn't have done, and no one is responsibile for that act but me. However, a larger responsibility is shared by a great web of individuals -- the ones who demonstrated to me that there would be a punishment affixed if I allowed one of my fellow elders to exercise his free agency. I didn't treat Elder Finn the way he wanted to be treated. I never took the time to try to understand him. I tried to force him into conformity with what I thought would have been best for me under the same circumstances. I wronged him greatly in that.

And finally, even if Utah is as much as 70% Mormon, that doesn't mean there's a homogeneous voting block of that size (much as the Church leadership might wish there were). But who needs it when state legislators are more likely to listen to General Authorities than their own constituents when important issues are on the table? (Oh, and if you really believe that everyone who lives in Utah is free to leave, then you're guilty of middle-class economic blindness, and you need a big reality check. Yes, it is a free country -- if you have enough money, that is.)

I hope your faith in both Church and state keeps you warm.

I asked you a question at the end on my last letter. What religion are you, and why didn't you answer it the first time. Also, about when I said the road to apostasy section will help us, I didn't mean yet, I meant when you finish (when will you?), obviously you aren't apostisized yet, I'm curious as to see why you left, so hurry would you! And I was not familiar with the Alma scripture you gave me, thanks for it! It shall help me to humble myself!

Seems I gave you a little too much credit. I answered the question of my current religion in the letter directly below yours -- why be redundant? -- and I supposed you might abandon your self-absorption long enough to notice. Sorry about that. I won't make that mistake again.

By the way, I'm an agnostic. My watchword is "Beware of God."

What a wonderfully talented writer you are. I, a Mormon, am somewhat intrigued by your comments and your reader's comments. It seems a pity that so many or your readers condemn you personally, without fully knowing you or your inner most thoughts and desires in spite of the fact you have shared many of your personal experiences and opinions. There seems to be a lot of criticism on both sides, but in almost all cases, it is aimed towards individuals or groups of people. This is what I believe to be one of the greatest concepts of the gospel; that is, the gospel can be true, even though the individuals trying to live it are far from perfect. The church can be true, even though its members are imperfect, have stupid opinions, make dumb mistakes, unrighteously condemn others, claim a testimony of something that is merely an opinion, preach false doctrine, etc. etc. One can seldom prove a person's potential by revealing his imperfections, and one will never prove the gospel wrong by proving Mormons are human like everyone else in the world. It has been said, "the church must be true, or the missionaries would have destroyed it by now." Some of your experiences seem to support this. The true principles of the Gospel should be judged on their own merit through studying, experimenting, and seeking a personal witness from God, not the ability or inability of others to adhere to them. You seem like a fair individual, are you willing to post the address of a web sight or two were people reading your material can ask questions and get opinions from someone on the other side of the fulcrum? If so, how about this, especially the "Stump the Missionaries" and "Book of Mormon Answerman" sections. Also this is another excellent location. I hope the best for you.

Okay, first, I think that sentiment about how missionaries would have destroyed the Church long ago if it weren't true, is the most blatant and silly piece of sophistry I've ever heard. Second, I've experimented with the Word, and it no longer gives me a buzz. Third, sure, I'll post your links here in the context of your letter, but don't expect them to show up on my "Golden Links" page. It's a big Web, and people can find their own way to pro-Mormon propaganda if that's what they're looking for. (I won't point folks toward the drug dealers in my neighborhood, either -- though I probably could.)

I just wanted to coment on your missionary experiance. I thought that your article was intertaning, but not really accurate in all respects. I searved an LDS mission in East Germany just after missionarys were allowed in the country, so I feel that I have a good idea how life in East Germany was. My mission was not run anything like the former GDR. In fact I found that my mission gave me a greater sense of freedon. Although missionarys are expected to follow strict rules, most people have prior knwlege that the rules are strict. Also, strange beleifs arn't new to God's people. He said himself that his people were perculur. Even though I don't agree with your story it made me smile.

I don't think I could comment accurately on what it was like to serve a mission in East Germany, from behind your eyes. I only know what I saw, what I heard, and what I did on my mission, and I can say with fair confidence that my story is an accurate report of that. Unless you have better information about what I experienced than I do, then do me the courtesy of not calling me a liar.

Oh, and by the way, even though I don't agree with your peculiar spelling, it still made me smile.

I am shocked at how nervous I am at writing these words. My questioning of the church has gone on for years, and I have been 'inactive' for nearly two years now (although I still hold a calling on the activities committee and help out occasionally.) But to speak out, and officially side with 'official apostates' :) is scarier than I thought! Now what does that tell you about the mind-games the church plays?

I need to tell an abreviated version of my story: I was 17 when I joined the church. I was a very lonely teen. My family had moved from Illinois to Indianapolis when I was 13 and I was so shy that I never really made any friends. When I learned about the Mormons from a history class, and took the missionary discussions, I found a place where people thought I was special. I got a lot of positive attention. And, most importantly, I wasn't alone anymore. Everything went great and I was a very successful convert--my home ward in Indy was so proud of me! Three years after joining I met my husband. He is 6 years older than me and told me the day after our first date that the Lord had told him that I was the one he was to marry! Was I scared! But I prayed, too, and felt it was right, so we were married in the Washington, D. C. temple in 1978. I still tear up when I think about my parents walking me up to the temple doors, my dad carrying my wedding dress, and then him kissing me and handing me my dress as I left them behind. He started crying, my mom was crying, and I almost turned back. But . . . . I was too chicken. My dad died two years ago of a sudden heart attack and I will live the rest of my life regretting that moment. Not because I don't love my husband, but because I put my dad through so much pain. And I never got to finally apologize to him . . .

My questioning started my wedding day. The temple ceremony was nothing I expected. I was shocked and appalled. I questioned my husband often about my doubts, but he just assured me that time and frequent visits to the temple would answer my questions. They didn't.

I always felt that it was me that was lacking spiritual insight. So I would stand up during testimony meetings and mouth the right words. (Stephen Covey's act 'as if' principle) I've served in the Relief Society presidencies and boards, Young Women presidencies and boards and frequently as Primary President and on the Primary stake and ward boards. I always said the right things.

Well, to make this abbreviated, I must speed up the story. I gave birth to seven children. I suffered from depression for years, and always thought that a new baby would finally make me happy. One of my babies died 45 minutes after birth. I almost lost the next one. The last three pregnancies were high risk, and I needed surgery each time to carry them to term. One child is severly Attention Deficit--with depressive symptoms. One child has mild Cerebral Palsey. Once child is Autistic. Suffice it to say, it's been a struggle. When I would turn to church lessons and scriptures or general authority talks, I would only be hurt by suggestions that my children's behavioral problems were due to lack of proper training or, especially damaging, Satan's influence. Right when I was finally going to a professional for help with my ADHD son, there was a talk in Sacrament Meeting about the ridiculous trend to have doctors medicate problem children . . . parents were neglecting the proper upbringing of their children and then expecting doctors to fix the problem!!!! Needless to say, my depression worsened. In Relief Society, I was taught that depression was an effective tool of Satan, and that depressed people were highly selfish. If someone is experiencing 'the blues' then they had better get out and do more service for others and quit concentrating on themselves! I finally had a good (Mormon) friend that didn't believe this, and when I almost swallowed a whole bottle of pills, she took me to her daughter's psychologist. This doctor led me to a psychiatrist who gave me anti-depressants and said I must seek continued therapy.

These doctors saved my life. That was five years ago. I started going back to college and am now a junior. I intend to go to graduate school and eventually teach at the university level. Last year, I was taking an advanced writing course. I initially decided to do research on mormon women and depression. Very few statistics were available, but my research led me to talk to Jan Shipps, who taught at my university--my subject changed to 'Rising Feminism in the Mormon Church.' This topic led me to such wonderful people as Sue Paxman and Steve Benson. I started subscribing to Sunstone, Exponent II and Dialogue. I was so relieved that I was not the only one with questions. As my studies continue, I believe with all my heart that Joseph Smith was a product of his times. I find so much evidence that most of his 'revelations' were just twists on prevailing thoughts of his time.

What about my husband and my kids? I know I'm hurting my husband terribly. He grew up in Provo and is very much a product of HIS environment. He still loves the church. But, to his eternal credit, he still loves me and supports me. He only asks me not to 'indoctrinate' the children with my research and questions. This is very hard to do. My ADHD child never goes to church, he was judged so harshly there. My oldest son, 15, also does not go . . . but the other four do. My oldest daughter, 17, asks me what it will be like when she's married in the temple and I can't go. I don't know how to answer her . . . I know that pain too well.

I am so confused and upset at myself for getting myself into this mess 21 long years ago. But I do love my husband and kids and I guess they are worth the agony and confusion I'm going through right now.

Thanks for listening . . . I guess I didn't abbreviate enough . . . but I haven't really let this stuff out before. Hey! I'm not nervous anymore! Whaddya know? Thanks, Bill, for playing therapist!

Well, I didn't do much, but you're still welcome, Diana. I'm very, very sorry to hear about everything you've been through, but it's great to see how you're reclaiming your life. I wish you the best, and I hope to hear an update from you.

I thoroughly enjoyed the texts about the missionary/terrorist, and read the whole thing. The account reminded me of experiences during my two-year tenure in the Colorado-Denver Mission (now operates under a different name, I think), including some acts which were clearly against my well-being, but done in the name of faith and righteousness. Reading this account makes me want to post some of my own missionary experiences, and travels on the "road to apostasy."

My name is Tom Rue. My wife's name is Carmen. We have three children. My web page contains lots of information about me and us, for anyone who may be interested, including a Statement of Beliefs written around 1986 around the time I wrote to Salt Lake City asking to be excommunicated since I could no longer subscribe to the teachings of the church.

In September 1973, at the age of 14, I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of LDS in Morrisville, Pennsylvania. I completed seminary in New Jersey, where I published the seminary newsletter and centered my life around the church. Finishing high school, I went to BYU for two years, including six months travel-study in Jerusalem. I received my endowments in the London temple,and thereafter went through as many other temples as I could, as often as I could for the dead. As a Mormon, I spent thousands of hours researching my genealogy, and served as genealogy coordinator or ward examiner in various units of the church, submitting the names of hundreds of my own ancestors for ordinance work. I served a two-year mission in Colorado where I held positions of leadership and baptized more people more than I now care to admit. :)

Returning to BYU, I enlisted in the Air Force, believing it my duty to serve Uncle Sam and protect my country from terrorists. In the military, I grew up. I served as ward membership clerk and as a scout leader.

After an honorable discharge from the military, I decided not to return to BYU. (Precisely what went into this decision is a long story.) I completed college and then graduate school in the east. I also did not return to church after returning east. Finally, around 1986, I wrote a letter to SLC asking President Benson to excommunicate me because I could no longer in good conscience allow myself to be associate with Mormonism. The statement of beliefs which represents the results of my years of personal struggle to arrive at what I could honestly say I believe.

Since that time, I have worked professionally with the least privileged sectors of society, helping people to improve their lives. I believe I have done more for the children of God in these capacities than I did as a Mormon missionary or member. As a mental health counselor I've also done a lot of self-examination and reflection concerning, first, the psychological and family dynaics which, first, led me into Mormonism; and then led me out of it.

I do not denigrate Mormon beliefs or teachings. The church influenced the formation of my character. The results of my study of what the church calls scripture is still with me. I no longer own the hundreds of LDS books which once lined my shelves. They are irrelevent to my present life. But the memories are still with me.

Your web site is terrific. Blessed be.

P.S. A few of words which might be added to your missionary glossary are the following:

Slewing out.The act of relaxing, or engaging in other non-missionary related activities during proseletyzing hours. Such an elder is known as a slew-bait.

Destroyed.A general term which can either be synonymous with "trunky" or suggest that the person is on the road to apostasy.

Flake. An investigator who appears unlikely to accept "the challenge" to be dunked.

Thanks for writing, Tom, and sharing some of your experiences. I've junked most of my Church-related books also, though I still have my missionary scriptures. I was wandering down the street a while back when a collection of odd goods being sold on the sidewalk caught my eye. There, lying on a blanket beside a trio of kitschy seascape paintings, was a pile of my old priesthood manuals, which some vagrant had evidently pulled out of the recycling bins in front of my apartment building. When I asked how much he was selling them for, he told me it was a package deal -- he'd throw them in with the paintings. I guess the Word from Priesthood Central has gone from priceless to valueless.

Thanks for the definitions, too -- though my former companion David Flake might take exception to that last one. ;)

Hey, Bill. Take off your mea culpa; make it an almost mea culpa in response to the guy who claimed Utah out-of-wedlock births are lower than the national average. The National Center for Health Statistics recent "Advance Data" says that Utah is average for o-o-w births and teen births. But here's a curious statistic for you. The male part of the couple that makes those out-of-wedlock births in Utah is more often adult than anywhere else in the country--overwhelmingly so. The female is usually a minor, just like everywhere else.

Gosh, no one's ever asked me to take off mea culpa before . . .

In all seriousness, thanks for the very interesting statistic. (Those naughty returned missionaries! For shame!)

I read "A Passage to Netherheim" and was very impressed. It's easy to see why you call it a personal favorite, although I suppose it's also easy to see why it never sold, since the reader almost has to be -- or have been -- LDS to catch a lot of the subtle irony in the story. (And on the other hand, it's safe to say that it won't ever appear in something like the anthology in which "Cut Without Hands" was published.)

I'm not a big fan of science fiction, and I'm certainly no expert on the genre. However, your utilizing a "data link" for exposition, and your using Einstein's Theory of Relativity as a basis for the final plot twist, seem to me to be very creative devices. (I also liked how you plugged the major hole in the story -- i.e, how Cove got his job offer.) Cove is as much a traveler through time as he is through space, and his helpless despondency at the end of the story -- knowing he has lost Helen forever -- reminds me somewhat of the fate of Christopher Reeve's character in Somewhere In Time. However, Cove's burden is even greater (and considerably less soap-operaish), since he will never know when, how, where, or why it happened.

Nonetheless, I think the major theme of "Netherheim" is that some people may only have one opportunity to find love and happiness in life, and thus it should be their choice -- and theirs alone -- what path to follow. Relying heavily on a church authority's unsolicited counsel can, indeed, put one on a road to utter misery and despair.

I have difficulty picturing the LDS Church still thriving after a few more generations if various prophecies concerning the Second Coming aren't fulfilled. (But then, Christians throughout the ages have thought theirs was the generation that would see Christ's return -- and none of them has been right yet.) If the church were to last as long as stated in the story, it seems to me that it would have had to change much more than you suggest. If you were writing the story today, I suspect you would spend more of your creative energy on that aspect of it.

It is an interesting problem, trying to predict how a religion will evolve once its basic prophecies have failed to come true. I suspect you're right -- I'd do it differently if I were writing it today. It was a story that was rather uncomfortable for me to write at the time, since I was still clinging to the tatters of my beliefs. A problem peculiar to Mormon science-fiction writers is how to honestly project a future that contains no Second Coming of Chirst. I don't know how Orson Scott Card has managed to remain sane. ;)

personally I think you have alot of anger bulit up at the church due to the fact that your are just to messed up to see what is right.

ps Get a life if you dont like the church fine, but dotn look you are doing just what the scriptures said people would do in the latter days, think on that!!!

Personally, I find your sentences too messed up to bother with. Maybe if you took your anonymity off you could speak more clearly.

A very interesting set of pages. I was delighted to see such sarcaism(sp?) about someone's bveliefs. I thought only LDS Bishops did that. I have a great testimony of the Church but not always the leaders. They err but the Church never does. As a 32^ Mason I have been somewhat persecuted by my local authorities who are filled with such misinfo about my own beliefs. Both Brother Brigham and the Prophet Joseph believed in teaching "right principles" and letting a man (or woman) belief as they might. When did we Mormons start walking in lockstep? Oh well I've ranted and I've raved....See ya Surfing around!

A practicing Mormon who's also a 32^nd-level Mason is someone I'd definitely like to hear more from, particularly on the subject of comparative ceremonies. Talk about a Renaissance Mormon! Do they actually let you have a temple recommend? Tell me more! <pant pant>

Hi there. I found the Mormon Matter e-mail page very interesting--it certainly attracts different voices and beliefs! You know me--I always have to put in my two cents worth. Well, here goes. I find it intriguing when people criticize you for publishing dissenting opinions. I am an active Mormon at this point in time (and still a believing one), though Heaven knows I have had my inner struggles of late. While I don't agree with all the opinions of apostate Mormons--or many believing Mormons!--we desperately need forums in which to talk.

Indeed, reading your "Road to Apostasy" has helped me understand why people leave the Church (I am a convert and so my experience is different). Thank God for free speech on the web, that I can read about diverse opinions and experiences! The contrast with my own helps me clarify my own beliefs.

I do know you, Cara, and it's good to hear from you! It is intriguing -- if it weren't for the right to dissent that forms one of this country's foundations, the L.D.S. Church could never have been born. Dialogue is good. Invective is bad. (Of course, I've never been a completely good little boy . . .)

I believe that personal web pages are a legitimate new art form and, for those who take them seriously, as difficult and revealing as any form of expression yet devised. So I am always on the lookout for sites which push the boundaries. Yours is among the best I've ever seen. The craftsmanship is superb and the content courageous. Well Done!

Incidentally, I am also a writer-slash-programmer. And although I have never been afflicted by any organized religion, I grew up surrounded by Mormons (and witnessed many square pegs like yourself being daily driven into the neat round holes of that uniquely American religion), so it seems we have something in common.

I would be honored if you would visit my humble home page (a mere cottage next to your soaring castle) at:

      http://www.sirius.com/~jcartan/

Best wishes to you and %@&@^*!!.

I've dropped by, John, and I greatly enjoyed my visit. I'll be back again.

Hello. i typed in SHUNN in netsearch and came up with your name. As i am a Shunn also, i figured you and i are related somehow. Do you happen to know any oregon relatives?

All Shunns are related, yes. I don't know any of the Oregon Shunns personally, but I did attend a Shunn family reunion in Ephrata, Washington, in the summer of '88 -- while I was a zone leader in Wenatchee, no less! Good to hear from you.

(By the way, this might be a good time to reiterate -- as my only partially anonymous relative is now discovering -- that if you're writing something that you don't intend for me to post on the Web, you should submit it via regular email, and NOT via my feedback form. Anything submitted via form is fair game for this page. My email address is here, for those of you tuning in late.)

The writing's quite good. The humour is great. The personal insights are ... um ... insightful. (Hey, it's been a long day. :| ) You've been 'bookmarked' for return visits.

Thanks for being there. Or here. Or wherever we are. Is this the Internet?

PS - I have all the Fletch books; Chevy Chase doesn't do the character justice, but 'Ford' has a fairly decent handle on it. ;)

PPS - All jocularity aside, congrats on an excellent Web site.

Yes, this is the Internet. Which is sort of the cyberspace equivalent of saying this is Earth. ;) And thanks for the kind words about Ford. He's glad to be compared favorably with his idol.

K is for KOLOB!!!

Funny stuff! May I link my page:

      http://nowscape.com/mormons1.htm

to yours? Thanks!

I couldn't stop you if I wanted to . . .

As a returned missionary myself, I was fascinated with your story of international terrorism and having had a former career with Canada Customs, made your story even more relevant to my background. Although I find your approach refreshing in many respects, I'm disappointed that you feel the Church may have let you down. From your own account, it appears Church leaders stood behind you and gave you every benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, that support for a rather naive young man could be misinterpreted as condoning a very stupid (not to mention illegal) act on your part. I consider myself a thinking Mormon and I accept that a lot of critism of the Church is warranted, but I believe your decision to call in the threat of a bomb, was either made to save your own skin or make yourself the center of attention with your missionary colleagues. Whatever the case, your account made for some interesting reading and I thank you for it. I hope you find something to put your faith in. Your current companion certainly iis the prettiest one so far based on the pictures accompanying your story. I'm interested in reading more of your Road to Apostacy.

Oh, I did it to save my own skin, make no mistake. I don't claim anything different. As for the Church leaders who stood behind me, I'm certainly glad they did . . . but at the same time I'm vastly uncomfortable with the implications of that. Schizoid? Damn straight. But I'll take a mild case of it over ten years in stir any day.

(Oh, and I'm sure %@&@^*!! will be relieved to hear that she's prettier than Elder Flake.)

Didn't know you had so much fire in your belly about the whole matter. Just got my public 'net access, and since it's through ████████, please don't post anything.

Well Amalikiah, sorry to run, but I've got some Lamanites over in the borders of the Land Bountiful that need to be quelled.

Moroni, bud! How's it hanging? Gonna drink your blood and all that . . .

(For those of you scratching your heads or puking, this is an old friend of mine. We used to write epistles to each other in the guise of Book of Mormon characters. Be that as it may, this is another prime opportunity to remind our viewers at home NOT to use the feedback form if you don't want your deathless prose posted for the world to grok. Go back and read that last sentence carefully until it makes sense.)

The one thing that I admired about your page, sir, is the fact that you offered a LITTLE bit of truth when you wrote about mormonism. It still greatly hurts me to see that one such as you, who seemed to have a strong testimony of the truthfullness of the gospel, has given it up. I pray that someday you will see what you have done to yourself by leaving the "TRUE" church of god. I believe that you indeed do know that the church is true, but you don't want to start believing again. You someday will realize the mistake you made by leaving the church, and I hope that you will eventually see the truthfullness again.

You know how I know that, deep down, you don't really believe the Church is true? Because you put the word true in quotation marks. Let's all review our punctuation before writing in, shall we, kids? That way we can avoid these pesky Freudian slips.