Perry Slaughter
Page 3

Forensics

          

Judging from the traces they leave, people seem to be at their worst in public restrooms.

Mission accomplished

          

By my count, by pursuing an ill-considered and illegal preemptive war, President Bush and his accomplice Congress have now murdered more Americans than the 9/11 terrorists did, not to mention the untold Iraqi civilian casualties. Congratulations, traitors, and God help us all.

Bushes

          

Never trust a librarian who marries a man who doesn't read.

John the Baptist

          

Living on nothing but locusts and honey doesn't impress me. Try Sterno and cardboard sometime, chump!

Slipstream

          

It sounds less like a genre of fiction and more like what happens when you fart and get more than you bargained for.

Jesus saves

          

But even He's gonna weep fat baby tears if He doesn't also remember to back up.

Insomnia

          

I have trouble sleeping while there are children starving in my city. Why can't they be quieter about it?

Box office

          

Yes, I chose Bush over Gore, but I thought the question was late-night cable.

Illiteracy campaign

          

Teach a child to read and that's just more royalties for Dr. Phil.

          

I bought one.

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