Inhuman Swill : Politics : Page 6

Palin pick

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If this is true, McCain and the Republicans are going hard after disgruntled female Clinton supporters. Now I'm very afraid.

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Daydreaming by shunn, on Flickr
I would like to see someone create one of those quizzie thingies to help people tell whether their dog is a Democrat or a Republican. I'd do it myself but I don't have the bandwidth.

The question occurred to me this morning as I was getting Ella outfitted for her morning walk with Laura. (It's 5 degrees Fahrenheit here, with 16 mph winds, so even the dog gets a coat.) Here was our sweet little dog rolling on her back and making tiny grunting noises while I tried to get her harness on her, but she's also the animal who can't see her upstairs neighbor Bear without seizing his neck in her jaws and trying to put him on the ground.

Her brown eyes looked so alien flicking behind their screen of tawny fur that I suddenly found myself wondering, "My God, what if my dog is a Republican?!" I mean, who knows what her political views might be if should could express them? She's fiercely bonded to her family, of course, and tender with us, but the moment the Other shows up on her turf she's quick to put him in his place.

If Ella were a Republican, of course we would love her anyway, but she's made me wonder whether conservatism might be more a product of our biological animal natures and liberalism an expression of our civilized side. Probably not, but maybe the elephant and donkey aren't really all that distinct from each other as symbols.

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Texas steel

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The mere sound of Dubya's voice makes my skin crawl at the best of times: the petulance in it, the nervous laugh that always accompanies the dopey statements he thinks should be self-evident, the lack of any statesmanlike timbre whatsoever. Whenever he opens his mouth to address an audience, any audience, he sounds like a dull bully being called on the carpet and defending himself incompetently.

Hearing him yesterday on the news, though, I heard a chilling new steel in his voice. As he was chiding the House of Representatives for not rubber-stamping the Senate's wiretapping reauthorization bill, telling them they must do so immediately, I swear God it sounded like he was about to say, "That is why I have taken your congressmen hostage, and I will execute one representative every minute until this bill is passed. That gives you ... um, less than a week, heh heh, so let's hurry, people!"

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The polite lie

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I'm sorry, but no, I don't respect everyone's views and opinions.

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Romney has a gay old time

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An amusing article in this morning's Times recounts how the various presidential campaigns are being blindsided by the unexpected sites where their web-buy advertising is showing up:

Visitors to Gay.com can sign up to find the perfect dating partner, advice on sex and how-to articles on same-sex marriage and parenting.

Over the course of at least two days in August, they may well also have seen banner advertisements about the Republican presidential candidacy of Mitt Romney, the former Massachusetts governor, according to an analysis of campaign Web advertising provided by the Nielsen Online, AdRelevance, monitoring service....

A regular site for advertisers like Jeep and Toyota, Gay.com was not exactly what Mr. Romney's campaign had in mind when it set out this summer to blanket the Web with messages about the candidate....  [full article]

I found this particularly amusing, not only because I enjoy seeing the Romney campaign embarrassed by association with positions the candidate has since abandoned, but also because John McCain ads have been showing up on my site for the past couple of weeks. Hey, I don't really mind, and McCain probably doesn't care, but those ads are a strange sight below my name.

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No, Paris is in Texas, son

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Via Laura:

To follow up on the Thomas Ravenel story...

Greg Ryberg has Star Trek technology.

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South Carolina state treasurer Thomas Ravenel has been indicted on federal charges for cocaine distribution.

Buried at the bottom of that article, you'll see that Ravenel is the South Carolina state chairman for Giuliani's presidental campaign.

Is it coincidence that Mayor Bloomberg, only a short time later, announces that he is leaving the Republican party?

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Via Laura:

My father used to teach me, in soberest earnestness, a version of the supposed prophecy discussed in this Salt Lake Tribune article:

It's Mormon lore, a story passed along by some old-timers about the importance of their faith and their country.

In the latter days, the story goes, the U.S. Constitution will hang by a thread and a Mormon will ride in on a metaphorical white horse to save it. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints says it does not accept the legend—commonly referred to as the "White Horse Prophecy"—as doctrine....

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Countdown to fascism

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In the Guardian, Naomi Wolf shows us the road to a "Fascist America, in 10 Easy Steps":

  1. Invoke a terrifying internal and external enemy
  2. Create a gulag
  3. Develop a thug caste
  4. Set up an internal surveillance system
  5. Harass citizens' groups
  6. Engage in arbitrary detention and release
  7. Target key individuals
  8. Control the press
  9. Equate dissent with treason
  10. Suspend the rule of law
You can see that, as concerned as I am about the slippery slope we're on in America, I still couldn't resist the temptation to edit item #9 for parallel construction.

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The Roald Dahl Memorial Bill?

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I'd like to propose a law. My idea is inspired by a technique I proposed for preventing executives from prioritizing the most egregiously idiotic of projects, but admittedly those stakes are small beer compared to the problem my law would address.

The proposal is simple. Before declaring preemptive (i.e., unprovoked) war, the president would be required to sacrifice a finger.

I'm not talking about a clean amputation, either, with anaesthesia and all those modern niceties. I mean the president's finger would be hacked off with a dull saw, preferably rusty, while he watches. In the most appealing scenario, the amputation would be performed by a surgeon with experience in Civil War reenactments. The surgeon could have whisky, but the president could not.

Also, the stump would be cauterized with a red-hot branding iron.

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The Accidental Terrorist 30th Anniversary Sale

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William Shunn

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