Inhuman Swill : Bacon



Toll House BACON cookie by @chavoen
This is not a cooking or baking blog, but I would be doing the carnivorous world a huge disservice if I did not share a recipe that my wife Laura Chavoen has been developing over the past few weeks—BACON COOKIES. (By the way, my style guide suggests that BACON COOKIES should always be rendered in all caps. Makes sense to me.)

The recipe is based on the Original Nestlé® Toll House® Chocolate Chip Cookies recipe you can find on every bag of Nestlé® Semi-Sweet Morsels, except that it uses chopped bacon instead of chocolate chips. That's the general description, anyway, but Laura found that using salty, fatty meat instead of semi-sweet chocolate in the recipe necessitated some other adjustments.

So here's the BACON COOKIES recipe she developed after much trial and error, and after much arduous testing on poor Human Subject #814 (a/k/a me).

Laura's Original BACON COOKIES

1 lb. thick cut bacon
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 3/4 sticks butter, softened (7/8 cup)
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1/3 cup real maple syrup
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Sizzling hot bacon, part two

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Less talking! More bacon!

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Sizzling hot bacon

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This is for my compatriots from Marvin's Blue Heaven breakfast table:

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Hey, kids! Wondering why you should bother studying science and math? So you can work out the formula to describe the perfect bacon butty!

N = C + {fb(cm) · fb(tc)} + fb(Ts) + fc · ta

Tomorrow we'll derive a formula to determine how many licks it takes to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop.

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