Inhuman Swill : May 2004

Apocalyptic manuscript-formatting wisdom gleaned from the Web:

If these guidelines are not followed exactly, the manuscript will be rejected unread.  That's a rule of the business; whether it is a novel, short story or article.  [more]
And Bob's your uncle. A manuscript in 10pt Courier probably is the better choice, but using Times Roman certainly won't get you rejected out of hand.
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Nyla is Ella's neighbor from upstairs. They battled evildoers and a red rubber ball in the back yard yesterday evening.

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Remember those damn "God Says" billboards that were appearing around the country a few years back? [info]ckccfa's user icon nicely sends them up:

Hmm. Kinda reminds me of a little site called
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More temple tour accounts

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A couple more temple-tour accounts have come to my attention. Fascinating reading, to see the experience from so many different viewpoints.

First, this one, from the discussion boards at

The first thing I realized as the tour began was that this was not going to be an interactive tour. The whole point was to get us in and out with the message they wanted us to hear before we could notice any oddities and so all we would remember was what a nice, quiet building it was, with so many cheery, helpful, people. You are invited to think about this and ponder that, but questions are NOT encouraged; there were no chances to do ask. To do so you would have literally had to interrupt your handler’s presentation. They give their message; questions can only come afterwards when others in the group won't hear.  [more]
And second, this one, from LJ blogger [info]alphistia:
Once inside the building though, I felt like I was on the Starship Enterprise, Mormon-style. The place was loaded with Mormons of all ages, all with name-tags. Some of them were effusively smiling, others slightly suspicious of these infidels in their midst. Of course to be wearing a tag meant you were the truest of true believers. For a moment, I wasn’t quite sure who were the "aliens". In any case, the contrast to the chaos outside on Broadway and the controlled activity inside was startling.  [more]
Bilmo says check 'em out.
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Move on, already

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Christ, I'm sick of getting email from telling me that the White House doesn't want me to see The Day After Tomorrow. Is it just me, or are these people getting annoyingly shrill? They're starting to sound like the PAC that cried wolf, which is too bad.

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Roger Ebert relates the following anecdote in one of his reports from Cannes:

During the screening of [Australian film] "Human Touch," I had the misfortune to be seated next to a pathetic creature who was receiving e-mail messages on his pocket device, and replying with taps on his clever little keyboard. The tiny screen was bright green in the darkness. I asked him to stop. He said, "I have to do this." I said, "Then you have to leave." He continued to tap away. "The director is sitting right over there," I said. "How do you think he feels?" "I don't care how he feels," the cretinous man replied. "Stop it, goddamn it!" I said. He stopped for a while, and then took a little peek at his screen from behind his hand. "Why don't you go outside?" I said. He did. He was the only person who left the full house; his electronic masturbation had blinded him to the film's greatness.

After the screening, I mentioned the incident to ["Human Touch" director] Paul Cox.

"If he had started typing one more time," said Cox, a genial and philosophical man, "I would have ripped his bloody toy from his hands and smashed it to bits beneath my feet."

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My best line this week

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"I don't think he has an attitude problem. He just doesn't have a human interface."

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24 the 24th

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Damn, I did finish the third part of the temple report last night, but then I completely forgot to watch the season finale of 24 on DVR. That was supposed to be my reward! I wonder if Jack Bauer saved the world again.

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A ghost is born

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Listen to the forthcoming Wilco album here in its entirety:
(Thanks to [info]baldanders for posting a link to the article that prompted me to go looking for the album in the first place.)
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Barking sheep

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Laura and Ella and I spent last weekend in western Massachusetts, at the country home of our friends Liz and Jim (yes, Liz and Jim of merry temple adventurers fame). Their house was fabulous and we had a terrific time. But one image in particular stands out in my mind.

Ella is a very furry dog, furry and fluffy and soft. Her coat, of course, makes her look much fatter than she really is. The country house is situated on a little lake, and when Jim and I took Ella walking in the back yard, she was bold enough to venture out into the lake until the water was to her knees. When she came back to shore, the fur was plastered to the bottom six inches of her skinny little legs.

Swear to god, she looked just like a sheep. I wish I had a picture.

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Featured Book

William Shunn

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