Teenagers can usually be counted on to do exactly the wrong thing in any given situation, and I was certainly no exception. Take the time I won a gilded sprig of pine needles, for instance.

Now, I used to be obsessed with winning things from radio stations. I had my technique down ("I don't be ticklin' or nothin'"—five points for the reference), and I could dial a whole slew of radio-station contest lines from memory. In high school I used to win stuff from KSL-AM 1160 all the time. In college, I won stuff from Z-93 all the time. When I went to work for WordPerfect, I won stuff from X-96 all the time. I won T-shirts, concert passes, play tickets, free dinners, new CDs, and a whole host of other things. When I worked at the Utah State Tax Commission, my coworker Dallas de Francesco would wait by the radio every day to see if I would manage to get my voice onto the Jon and Dan show on Z-93.

One of my earliest wins from KSL was a rather unusual and striking piece of jewelry—a gilded sprig of pine needles on a thin gold chain. I was able to correctly translate the title of the song "Et Les Oiseaux Sont Chansons" into English—hey, three years of high-school French is good for something—and for my pains I received this interesting little necklace.

That left me only one problem: what to do with it. Oh, what to do!

After the necklace had arrived, I showed it to my sisters. They all oohed and aahed over it, and my sister Seletha, who is only a year and three days younger than I, let it be known how much she would like to have such a necklace.

So what did I do with the necklace? I was teenage boy. It should be obvious.

I left it in the locker of a girl at school named Hope Rayburn on whom I had a serious crush, as a Valentine's Day present.

I faintly remember Hope eventually thanking me for the necklace, but that was all that ever came of that. No dates, no grateful kiss, no pledge of eternal love, nothing like that. I may as well have tossed the damn necklace down the toilet.

I wish I'd been wise enough to give the necklace to my sister, who would actually have appreciated it. It would have meant something then. But like I said, you can always count on teenagers to do the wrong thing.