Inhuman Swill : Page 182
Why is my blog called Inhuman Swill? Because you can unscramble the pieces to make William Shunn.

Monkeys could do my job

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Well, apes, anyway:

Primate Programming Inc: The Evolution of Java and .NET Training

I want to hire these guys. I do. Especially Cathleen. I'm a sucker for her value-pricing.

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So I was asking the other day for confirmation of some calculations about centripetal acceleration. Well, in my usual overboard fashion, I created a little CGI script to help myself play around with different values for size, speed, and effective gravity for my station:

http://www.shunn.net/cgi-bin/centrifuge.cgi

You provide two of the three values (ac , r, and/or Δt) and the script calculates the third. You can choose the units for input also; if they differ from G, meters, or seconds, respectively, the results are provided in both the default and specified units. You can also set the display units for the blank value.

The results print in a table that provides acceleration values for different levels of the station, moving closer to the hub.

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The kitchen table doesn't usually look like this, but there's a list of relatives who always need a copy of the newest story. Plus one to my childhood pal Darin, who now lives in Alaska and was in the same college writing workshop where I wrote the first draft of "Pietro Coppino," way back in 1989....

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It's out

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To those who were waiting to hear, there are copies of the October Realms of Fantasy at the Barnes & Noble at Union Square in Manhattan.

Well, actually there aren't anymore because they mysteriously sold out during my visit. But that's neither here nor there. The point is, the magazine's out there. Godspeed.

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Nanointelligence

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[nanobot]
(via [info]rubylou)

I am the nanobot that brainwashes all torchiere lamps into doing its bidding!

What kind of world-destroying nanobot are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

And I suppose this would be a propitious time to direct your attention here....

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Cover boy

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That's what Laura's calling me this morning. Late last night I got home from a dismal movie with friends (Northfork—pretentious, silly, and overrated, despite a good setup and some great moments) and brought the mail in. There were vicious thunderstorms in the city yesterday, and the mail was soaked. That included my subscription copy of the October 2003 issue of Realms of Fantasy.

I woke up Laura before carefully peeling back the wet "protective wrapper." And there was my name on the cover. My first cover.

My name wasn't as big as Harlan Ellison's, but (almost embarrassingly) it was above and bigger than Michaels Bishop and Swanwick. We stared at it for a couple of minutes before even opening the magazine.

The illustration inside was gorgeous.

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I'll be making a return appearance as Jim Freund's guest on "Hour of the Wolf" this Saturday, August 9th, on WBAI 99.5 FM, from 5:00 am to 7:00 am, Eastern Daylight Time.

We'll certainly talk about my science fiction, including my recent story in Salon, but it's likely we'll discuss my memoir Missionary Man as well. I may even trot out an excerpt from the book to read on the air. Tune in an see what happens. (It's early, yes, but just think -- I have to be up earlier to get to the station than you do to listen! )

WBAI serves the NYC metro area. If you can't pick up the station, you can still access the live stream on the Internet at:

http://www.2600.com/offthehook/hot2.ram

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Physics problem

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Any mathematicians or physicists out there? I'm working on a story that takes place on a torus-shaped space station. Assuming the torus is one mile in radius (1584 meters) and revolving around its center, I'm trying to calculate what the rotational period of the station would have to be in order for a person standing inside the rim to feel centripetal acceleration equivalent to 1 gee—9.8 m/s2, that is.

It's been a long time since college physics for me, but my calculations using the formula

ac = ω2r
where ac is centripetal acceleration, r is the radius and the angular velocity ω is
ω = Δθ
Δt
and solving for time Δt when the arc Δθ is 2π radians, seems to show that the rotational period would have to be about 79.88 seconds, or one rotation every one minute and twenty seconds. (Basically, I plugged the lower formula into the upper one and solved for Δt.)
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Kevin goes to Russia

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Kevin17 in Russian translation
My short story "Kevin17," from the February 1995 issue of F&SF, was just reprinted in that magazine's Russian edition:

That's my original byline in the upper left corner, D. William Shunn, transliterated.
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A great weekend

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Well, Laura and I had a splendid weekend. We started out with cheap, yummy Thai food at Sea, Second Avenue and 4th Street. I had a lychee mimosa, and ate the lychee. Then we walked down to the Bowery Ballroom to see what maybe possibly this time really will have been the final Dismemberment Plan show in New York City. It was a mostly all-requests set, so if it wasn't entirely cohesive, at least it was nostalgic and fun. I had psyched myself up to climb onstage during "The Ice of Boston" and dance with the kids, but when the song started the big guy in front of me rushed halfway to the stage and then stopped dead, and I couldn't get around him. Oh, well. The band was under orders from the house to let only thirty people onstage, so I probably wouldn't have made it anyway. We still had a great time.

The next morning, Laura's birthday, she and I set out on an epic bike ride. We made our way from Astoria to the Queensborough Bridge, across 57th Street to 5th Avenue, past the Plaza Hotel, through part of Central Park, out at 72nd Street, over to Riverside Park, then up the west side all the way to 181st. I'd never been to Washington Heights—nice neighborhood, but hills like San Francisco. We ended up walking our bikes up a couple of them. From there we hit the George Washington Bridge and crossed to New Jersey. Then we retraced our route back home. Using MapQuest, I figured out this morning how far we went. At least 26 miles. I was pretty impressed with myself.

That evening, Laura and I and our friend Liz went to Yama on Carmine Street for sushi—big heaping mounds of it. Much sake was consumed, and I capped things off with plum wine. Then we caught a cab to the World Financial Center and saw Seabiscuit and the new movie theater there in Battery Park City. It was an engrossing movie, but manipulative, simplistic, and jingoistic. It was the sort of movie that evaporates after you watch it. Pleasant but not great. Oh, well. We still had fun.

After the movie, we walked through the mostly empty WFC to Southwest NY, a restaurant with a bar that serves about twenty different flavors of margaritas. We sat out back on the plaza outside, staring out across the Hudson at New Jersey and the New York Harbor. Then we caught cabs home.

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The Accidental Terrorist 30th Anniversary Sale

Signed editions
that even a
missionary
could afford.

Order yours now!

William Shunn

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