Inhuman Swill : Love

Though it is widely known among our circle of friends that Laura and I were married on television, few are they who have actually seen the episode of the obscure series in question.

Yes, we appeared in an episode of the Travel Channel series Two for Las Vegas which aired early in 2002. Yes, the episode ran several times that year. No, you can't see it now because Laura has always vetoed my requests for permission to post the episode to YouTube.

Except that today, on the occasion of our fifteenth wedding anniversary, egged on by numerous voices on Facebook, Laura relented. So now you can watch this lost classic of the small screen. You'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll become a part of you.

But hurry because she might change her mind any moment now.

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Laura and Bill cut the cake, Las Vegas, 30 June 2001
Fifteen years ago today, I somehow had the remarkable good fortune of marrying the smartest, most adventurous, funniest, most beautiful woman in the world. (Television could not have designed a better wedding. Literally. The wedding was on television.)

Today, I have the remarkable good fortune of still feeling that way. Thank you, Laura, for fifteen-plus years of adventure, challenge, joy, surprise, growth, puppy snorgles, forgetting important dates, and never being bored.

I love you, Laura.

(I think this is the part where Laura would want me to tell the NPR listening audience, "She could be a real bitch sometimes." Oh, wait, I was supposed to save that for your eulogy? My bad.)

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14 Februarys: A Sonnet

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Our first Fourteenth we went to Brooklyn's best
New restaurant. It seemed we walked for miles
Through freezing cold, but I knew by your smiles
I'd chosen well and you were well impressed.

Our third Fourteenth was filled with wedding plans.
I'm still not sure who popped the question first.
By Fourteenth number nine we were immersed
In thoughts of westward roads and moving vans.

Our tenth Fourteenth blew prudence to the sky
With fourteen courses served by silent staff.
Such frills on this Fourteenth? It is to laugh.
We're happy to stay home and order Thai.

My Valentine you've been, the count now stands,
Two times for every finger on your hands.

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A higher attraction

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If we were zombies
I promise you that I would
love you for your brain

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I come to you, love,
like a zombie in your thrall,
hungry for your brains.

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I have no illusions of immortality

Or do I?

The way I shovel known poisons into my mouth
Shout motherfucker at drivers who cut me off
The way I still haven't put up the smoke alarms, two years later

The way I keep putting off Moby-Dick
Let a day or more sometimes go by without writing a word
The way I, on rare occasions, neglect to say I love you

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Sometimes as I glance through my website's server logs, I see the anonymous messages people have sent through my little Scrabble-izer. Here's one of the sweetest I've seen, which just caught my eye:

If you were a Scrabble tile, you'd be a Z - one of a kind and worth more than everyone else
Or see it in Scrabble tiles.
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I know they are but what am I?

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moxy früvous are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator
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The Accidental Terrorist 30th Anniversary Sale

Signed editions
cheaper than your
local Mormon

Order yours now!

William Shunn

About This Archive

This page is an archive of recent entries in the Love category.

Los Angeles is the previous category.

Luxor is the next category.

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