Gentlemen, do you ever have that trouble where you're trimming your sideburns and you get one a little too short so you have to trim the other one up to match but you go a little too far and have to trim the first one up a little more to compensate and pretty soon you have so little sideburn left that you have to just say screw it and shave them off altogether?

Well, that's what happened to me this morning. Except with my mustache. And now I look like Bigamy Breed 'Em Brigham Young.

Well, I wanted to look like Doc Cochran from Deadwood, and it looks like I got my wish.