It's been far too long since I had a nice flamewar. I think the last one, in fact, was about two years ago when a sister missionary I knew twenty-four years ago friended me on Facebook and then posted to my wall to say the F-word offended her and she knew I would stop using it and polluting her news feed with it. I didn't even have to respond. It was my wife and friends who did the dirty work for me. Nice to be able to get my hands a litle dirty again.

From: Random Person
To: Bill Shunn
Subject: Editing job

Mr. Shunn, I would like you to consider editing two 10,000 word stories of mine. I am attaching a sample to work on and resubmit to me so I can see the calibre of your work product - if you're interested in the job.

From: Bill Shunn
To: Random Person
Subject: Editing job

In other words, you want me to edit you for free? Fuck off. I'm deleting your email without looking at these files.

From: Random Person
To: Bill Shunn
Subject: Editing job

Hey Shunn, You are a piece of work. I sent 2 pages to see if you were literate or an just another asshole. I guess you answered that question.

From: Bill Shunn
To: Random Person
Subject: Editing job

I don't think you understand the nature of the insult you committed. Professionals do not audition for jobs of this sort. Professionals do not edit even two pages for free. Professionals do not entertain offers of work without an upfront discussion of what the client is willing to pay. Your email was obviously not targeted specifically at me but at a broad list, which only adds to the above insults. I fear it is you who have shown yourself to be ignorant and unprofessional -- an asshole, if you will. A couple of friends have suggested that my response to you was too kind. Next time, if you want a more cordial reception, you might personalize your proposal a little bit and make your offer of remuneration clear from the start. Now, kindly fuck off.