I just wanted to congratulate you on an amazing performance. How you always managed to step to the side the moment I tried to get around you—positively telepathic. And let's not forget the sudden stop right at the narrow passage between two other shoppers. I came within a hair's breadth of plowing right into you, which must have been your object all along.

Don't get me wrong—there's a long and proud tradition of Bill's-progress-foilers in this country. I just want to know how you learned the position was vacant and knew to audition. As far as I'm concerned, the job is yours.