Inhuman Swill : November 2002

Ill aura

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Laura received a piece of junk mail over the weekend that was addressed to "Aura" rather than "Laura." She quite liked that, but I immediately realized that the same sort of typo would render me "Ill." I think I shall be keeping my "B," thank you.

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Words kill

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If you're a skilled typist, for God's sake do not start playing Word Shark. You'll be at it all day.

My high score is 1,582,741 at level 18 (75 wpm, 95% accuracy).

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A new installment of the Mormon "Mad Lib" game "No Man Knows My Pancreas":

The Origin of the Endowment
Funnier if you've actually been to a Mormon temple, I would say.
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Radio blackout

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I'm embroiled in this silly email exchange with a poet named Susan Montez, who wrote me yesterday out of the blue to attempt to subtly discover whether or not the "Radio Free Queens" feature at my Web site was named for her book of poetry of the same name. When I asked her about the book, she told me that it should be required reading for everyone who lives in Queens.

I challenged her to back that statement up, and here's the best she's done so far: "If nothing else--how many books of poetry are out there about Queens? Hello. It's one of the more forgotten areas of the 718."

Oh, right. The it's-the-only-one-of-its-kind-so-it-must-be-worthwhile argument. I'll have to remember that one for the next editor I meet.

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That scwewy seawch engine

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Did you know that you can set your Google interface language to "Elmer Fudd"?

http://www.google.com/intl/xx-elmer/

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Why not to use a magnetic resonance imager to wipe your hard drive.

Computerworld.com: But it DID destroy the data

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Why do I waste my time?

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From: Bill Patrowicz
To: Bill Shunn
Subject: Sidestepping Marketers

Laws and systems exist to unsubscribe you from telemarketing and junk mail lists. Most are incomplete and time consuming.

Our database can unsubscribe you from thousands of junk mail and telemarketing lists. See data-mumble.com.

Sincerely,
Bill Patrowicz
Managing Director, Data-Mumble

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Whoops! Johnny's totally stumped!

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http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com

Go if you can. The server seems to be getting slammed hard at the moment.

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This is where I want to work

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Pulp fiction

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The Accidental Terrorist 30th Anniversary Sale

Signed editions
cheaper than your
local Mormon
missionaries.

Order yours now!

William Shunn

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