Inhuman Swill : November 2001

« October 2001 | Main | December 2001 »

November 30, 2001

What evil criminal would you be?

November 24, 2001

Lara Croft v. Indiana Jones

Eating dinner whilst preparing to meet my wife at Irving Plaza for the Living Colour reunion show (woo-hoo!), I caught a bit of Charlie's Angels (the movie) on HBO. Laura and I watched Lara Croft: Tomb Raider early last week, and these two movies have caused me to reflect on the state-of-the-art in the action-movie genre. (Sounding pretentious, am I?)

Anyway, these Matrix-like special effects where people leap and swoop and somersault and hover in the air in clear defiance of the laws of physics are really starting to wear on me. I'm just not thrilled by stunts that look impossible. Now, I'm not talking about stunts that make the improbable look possible, which are fine in my book. I'm talking about stunts where the action is obviously accomplished by hanging the actors from wires. There's nothing realistic-looking about someone jumping into the air, hanging there for two seconds longer than physically possible, kicking two assailants in opposite directions, then drifting lightly to the ground. It's an annoying shortcut to thrills, and it doesn't work for this boy.

What I like is seeing a stunt that, while clearly difficult, looks possible and looks hard. There's a reason why it's thrilling when Indiana Jones makes a desperate leap from the top of a moving truck. It's because he looks like he's doing something difficult, and he looks desperate. There's genuine peril—broken bones, blood and guts, death—waiting below if he doesn't make that leap successfully. On the other hand, when Lara Croft makes a leap, she's clearly so assured and relaxed that she has time to execute an unnecessary somersault in the middle of her crucial leap to safety. Indy Jones would barely make that leap, and we would feel thrilled and relieved when he barely made it. If Lara Croft is so unconcerned about the peril around her that she takes the time to do a somersault in the air, then why should we bother to worry about her safety?

Now, if there's one actor who looks like he's having fun while doing difficult and dangerous stunts, it's Jackie Chan. But the thing is, he looks like he's working hard. He takes obvious joy in the physical exertion, and that joy is infectious. Contrast this with the young ladies flying around on wires in Charlie's Angels, who certainly look like they're having fun, but who make it look like it's fun to fly around on wires, nothing more.

So give me Jackie Chan over Charlie's Angels any day. Give me Indiana Jones over Lara Croft. Unless, that is, we're talking about some pastime other than action movies.

(Just to be clear, I'm not picking on female action heroes here. It just so happens that the two movies that caused these thoughts to crystalize featured women in the leads. The Matrix annoyed me just as much. This is an equal-opportunity peeve.)

I guess that's why they call it cheap booze

Sing along!

I guess that's why they call it cheap booze.
Wine in my hands will be puke on my shoes.
      Popping the bottle,
      Chugging that Ripple
      Like milk from a nipple.
      Now I'm seeing triple,
And I guess that's why they call it cheap booze.

November 22, 2001

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

And to all you Brits—nyah nyah nyah!

(Just kidding! You chaps are swell. You made this all possible.)

Howdy, Mr. Perrott

Hey, I want to welcome my good friend [info]ricperrott to LiveJournal. Hi, Ric! Canadians welcome!

November 19, 2001

The A&E Biography sign sez . . .

      TODAY'S WEATHER
      PARTLY SUNNY
      WINDY & COOL
      RUDY GIULIANI

November 16, 2001

The Wayback Machine!

God bless the Wayback Machine at Archive.org! You can surf the Web the way it used to be!

Remember when I posted about how the Zip disk containing the older versions of my Web site got corrupted and I lost all the data? Well, thanks to the Wayback Machine, I've recovered the earliest of those versions!

Check it out! Here's my original Web site, and my old "Mormon Matter" site too!

Hallelujah!

November 14, 2001

The Plan

Only ten or so hours until I finally get to see the Dismemberment Plan live. Woo-hoo!

The American fanatic

As promised, a public humiliation for Jason Earl: "The American Fanatic." Hey, I do what I can.

November 9, 2001

Op-ed piece on newsstands now!

Hey, my op-ed piece for ON Magazine (formerly Time Digital), "Web of Hope," is out now! The December issue is available on newsstands in this fine country as we speak. Unless you have a really well-stocked newsstand nearby, your best best is probably to look for it in the computer magazine section at your nearest Barnes & Noble. (The B&N at Union Square had about 20 copies last time I looked. That was before I bought half of them.)

Kind of depressing, though, that a one-page essay paid more than any single piece of fiction I've ever sold, at any length.

1 2  

Featured Book

William Shunn

About This Archive

This page is an archive of entries from November 2001 listed from newest to oldest.

October 2001 is the previous archive.

December 2001 is the next archive.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Archives