Originally published in Electric Velocipede #6, Spring 2004.

Bill is a hapless computer programmer with a crush on the woman in the next apartment. A visitor from far in the future may have the key to unlocking his fantasies, but first he'll have to figure out what his fondest dream really is.

The Spring Electric Velocipede is very impressive. . . . This is far and away the best issue so far. Among several strong stories, two stand out. [The first,] William Shunn's 'Why I Think I'll Be Staying in [sic] Tonight' is told by a man to a woman he has long been interested in, as he refuses her request for a date. Why? Well, he saw this implausibly beautiful woman, see. . . but it's not what you might think. It's subtly about the danger of getting what you ask for.

—Richard Horton, Locus